The older I get the more I realize how stubborn I am and how hard headed I can really be. I have also learned that there are some aspects of my life that I have developed because of my genetics. My mother is a natural worrier and while she has and is trying hard to change that part of herself (which she admits is one of her faults) I find that as life becomes more real the more challenging it is to completely allow myself to trust God in some areas of our lives. I almost had a good emotional break down a few days ago and felt myself slipping into a panicked worry. There was one part of me that said I trusted God and I believe that I truly knew He would make a way when the time came, but there was also a part of me that was worrying way too much and struggling to believe that He would pull through when we needed Him the most. Instances of God's provision came to my mind quickly and even an "I brought your dog back didn't I?" flooded my heart even amongst my doubts.
The last couple of days I have found over and over again that God is patient with me and I'm glad that His mercy is new every morning because He has been showing me multiple times that He has this under control and that we are on the right track and we are doing the right order of things.
A few of the signs (or more like thumps on my thick head) were the pair of sunglasses that one of the older tenant's passed out at the Tuesday Coffee that we have at Lexington. Anyways what this gentleman doesn't know is that I have been looking for a pair of darkly tinted sunglasses for a while now. I haven't been able to find any that were dark enough that I could afford. So here I am sitting at a table surrounded by an older group of people and I am given then choice of 1 of 3 styles of the perfect tint. I meekly take them and I promise I heard God clearing his throat trying to get my attention.
The next day I'm preparing to take the trash out and in a trash can that rarely has much trash in it I find a super nice plunger and container. This particular item is something that David and I have looked to buy but couldn't bring ourselves to buy it because we already have a plunger and could make do with it. This time I felt the tugging on my heart.
Then yesterday evening Bro. Olson's brother was in service with us and some of the points he made I knew that they were for me and a reminder that this was the right thing to do. I mean I'm questioning God's ability to provide for our "measly" food requirements with our new lifestyle changes and the man of God talks about the bounty that God has stored up and how we must prepare ourselves to do what we are suppose to do. It can't get much clearer than that. Especially when these thoughts are thoughts that have already crossed my mind.
Tonight during David and I's first attendance Intercessory Prayer Meeting I heard Pastor praying and some of the things he prayed confirmed yet again what David and I have both been feeling. I know that there may be times when I question again how it will all work out, but I know that even though (as David said to me the other night) it may feel like God is waiting until the last minute that He will always provide for us.
So as I fall asleep tonight I am thankful that I can stand on the promises of God my Savior!
No comments:
Post a Comment